Far From Over Him
by cherryXbomb
Summary: Paige Michalchuk watched him as he watched his friends. His old friends would be more precise. If you looked around the school you'd never know that he used to be the king... and with him, she was the queen.


**Title: Far from Over Him**

**Author: cherryXbomb**

**Ship: Paige/Spinner**

**Author's Note: I don't own Paige or Spinner or anyone from Degrassi. And please remember, this is a one shot. I will not be updating it! So enjoy.**

**Summary: Paige Michalchuk watched him as he watched his friends. His old friends would be more precise. If you looked around the school you'd never know that he used to be the king... and with him, she was the queen.**

Paige Michalchuk watched him as he watched his friends. His old friends would be more precise. If you looked around the school you'd never know that he used to be the king... and with him, she was the queen. She was still the queen but he was no longer the king. He was now the reject. The thought of that pierced her heart and made tears sting at her eyes. She wished that she could just go talk to him. He was her first love and the only guy she had ever told her entire life's story to. But back then, she thought her life's story was interesting. Now she wasn't so sure.

She watched him walk away down the halls filled with students and teachers. She lost him in the sea of people and became aware of others around her. She came out of her trance and transformed back into the Queen Bee that roamed the halls and ruled the school. Her sad expression transformed into her signature smirk and the only way you could tell that she wasn't herself was by glancing in her eyes. But no one did that. No one knew that she was hiding who she really was. The only person who had ever noticed the layer of paint she wore to protect herself was him.

"Paige," a voice brought her out of her silent reverie.

"Hey Hazel," she replied quickly. She turned and faced her best friend.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just thinking."

And she was thinking. She was thinking about the good times she had shared with him for two years before they split up. She was thinking about the harsh words that pierced through the silence at her house. She was thinking about her brother who hadn't been home to visit since her parents made the dreaded announcement. She was thinking about how quickly she was falling apart.

"Well, we're going to be late for Spirit Squad."

"Oh crap hon. I nearly forgot."

"You're always forgetting these days Paige. What's going on with you?"

Paige wished she had an answer. It would simplify everything if she knew what was going on with her. Surely she didn't still love him. She knew that she was over him, though she could never truly convince herself of that fact. She didn't know what was going on with her. She used to know everything. Everyone told her that. Everyone told her that she knew what was best for everyone, even if it wasn't really what was best. But they never knew that she was trying to mend the lives around her to escape the life she led.

She looked over at Hazel and smiled. She remembered the days when Hazel and Paige were dating Spinner and Jimmy. Now that was all gone. Jimmy was with Ellie and Spinner was with Darcy. Or at least that's what Paige thought. She couldn't really recall a day when she'd ever given much thought to Spinner and Darcy, at least not in the front of her mind. She would always push the thoughts to the back, and package them away deep inside.

"Nothing's going on with me."

A lie. Another lie. That's all she was becoming now, a series of lies placed carefully around her so that she'd never step upon them and watch them detonate. Secrets, like bombs, were around her all the time. The secret that she was smoking weed on a nearly daily basis now. Secrets that her parents were divorcing. Secrets that she had never told anyone, not even him though she had told him everything. Secrets like she blamed herself for what happened at that party in grade 9. Secrets like since then she had been falling apart.

"Well, let's get to practice," Hazel insisted.

"Okay."

Paige went through the motions at practice. She smiled where smiles were necessary and shouted for joy though she hadn't felt joy in over a year. She would cartwheel until her dying heart felt as though it would explode in her chest. Yet nothing seemed right anymore. She was already dead inside. She was exploding.

After practice, she declined Hazel's offer to go to Pretty Pretty and instead opted for a walk through the park. Yet her feet didn't lead her to the park. Her feet lead her straight to him. She realized she was in his neighborhood moments after she rang his doorbell. When he answered the door, she felt her heart skip a beat.

"Paige?" he asked.

"Spinner."

Tears that she had been holding in since summer fell down her cheeks like lava, burning her flesh.

"What's wrong?" he asked, stepping outside and closing the door behind him.

She fell into him and sobbed. He stroked her blonde hair and when she had finally stopped sobbing, he lifted her head and kissed her. That kiss brought life back into her dead heart and she realized what she had been denying all along. She still loved Spinner. She couldn't deny it. As much as she had tried to deny her feelings, they had never left.

She told him the secrets she'd been hiding. She told him of her parents' divorce and the fact that the nightmares had returned. She told him that she had been smoking weed nearly daily to escape her pain. She told him everything that she had felt since they broke up. He just held her tight and stroked her hair as the secrets came out and the bombs were defused.

"I love you Spinner," she told him after she had finished telling her secrets and revealing her soul.

"I love you too."

"But that isn't enough is it?" Paige asked. "You have Darcy."

"Darcy and I broke up," he told her. "She could never equal you. She could never be anything when compared to you. You're my honeybee."

Paige kissed him and felt life return to her body.

Then began the incessant beeping that always interrupted their moment. She sat up in bed and began to cry tears of rage and of heartbreak. She heard her parents fighting downstairs and climbed out of bed. She went and washed her face, letting the cool water wash away her sorrow. She heard the door slam and knew that her father had left for work. Then she prepared for her day and went to school. She watched him and Darcy kiss at his locker and felt more pain then she ever knew was possible. She realized her dream meant something. She knew it meant that she wasn't over Spinner. She might never be.

She painted on her smile and went about her day as she did everyday. And looking at her, you would never know that she was broken. Looking at her, you would never know that she wasn't over Spinner Mason.


End file.
